The Moment Everything Clicks into Place

The only way I can describe the last weeks after the training camp in August is one word: chaos.

First off, I felt really low- spirited after the camp, so I went into comfort eating, which didn’t give me any comfort, just 5kg more on the scale. Bad choice.

Then, September started, and all my gyms published new training schedules, so I had to figure out a new plan for the week, sqeezing my Muay Thai training into the usual small window after work and the time I have the car available to myself.

My comfort-eating went on for most of the month, and obviously, I felt bad – not only because I was cheating and eating unhealthy food, but I felt physically bad.

I realized it how bad I have felt only when I have gotten a hold of myself two weeks ago and started eating clean and weight-loss-oriented again. Even though I was eating less calories than before, I felt great! Not as heavy as before, and I still had energy to train.

Tomorrow starts my third week of dieting again, and as of today, I’ve lost 2,5kg, which is really big for me!! I’m still 16kg overweight though -.-‘ but I don’t let this bring me down!!! I will be above myself if I manage to loose any weight at all, knowing how capricious my body and weight can be.

So, after this chaotic time, October started and my schedule got even more cramped, with my part-time job starting a few hours a week in the evening and the availability of the family car being even less than before (I’m planning to buy my own car, but since I decided I want to go to Thailand, I’m saving all my spare money for THE Thailand trip. I can live until then without my own car. Or a smartphone. Or furniture in my new, soon-to-be apartment. Or new clothes. Or a new haricut… :p).

Now, I can only manage to go 3 times a week to my Muay Thai training and it’s so sad!

I have to make the best out of this situation, so I will add 2-3x a week strenght training to take my thoughts off this tragic fact and at the same time, work on my strenght, which is lacking lately.

I start this week with my strength training. This is actually the hardest out of all of the trainings, because I have to get my lazy ass to the gym – ON MY OWN. Then go the weight room, occupied by muscled men and fitspiration-body-typed women (if there are any at all) – ON MY OWN. And I have to make sure I do all the reps with the correct weight – ON MY OWN. I really hate it when I have no-one to share my pain of training with. I want someone to suffer together with me! 😉 😀

In Muay Thai you train your own body into the perfect weapon, by your own strenght and will-power. But it’s only possible with the help of others, who will hold pads for you, motivating you to do more, partners whom you can train your clinch with, people you spar with. Otherwise it wouldn’t be possible to learn.

That’s why I don’t enjoy the strenght training at all. I do it, coz I have to do it, but it’s not like those people who say they love lifting weight. I don’t. I feel uncomfortable even going into the weight room, coz I feel like I don’t belong there at all: fat, unstylish, ugly girl in baggy clothes. Gosh, I hate it so much. But I will do it. Coz I’m best at perserving if it’s something that benefits me.


Now comes the great part.


In the last few weeks I had a few opportunities to try a completely new way of training for me – going 10 to 12 two-minute rounds with a partner, focusing on techniques, but also sparring.

Mostly I’m geting beat up, but after two or three times, I realised I need to focus on those things that I’m weak at and also work on building my strengths. And I think my trump-card is gathering up all those little tricks I pick up from training with different trainers and sparing with different people, taking in all the good stuff from them and trying to use it in my Muay Thai. And it worked!! Last week I had a really great session and i ended up surprising my training partner with at least 3 or even 5 combinations and little tricks. It felt amazing! Like all the work I put into my training in the last 4 months have finally paid off, and I’ve started to engrave some combinations into my muscle memory. I never knew this feeling of when you’re really into it, your body starts moving on its own, reacting before you can think. Or rather, you’re already thinking about the next move, seeing what your opponent does. Ahhh…that was a great session, I was so happy for the next two days. After that, I had a really bad training, bruised and hurt my foot a bit, and I started feeling useless again. My foot is fortunately healing up fast, so luckily I didn’t have to skip any training, but the useless feeling remains. I feel like I’m all over the place when I’m doing combinations and drills with a partner. It’s really pissing me off when I hear my trainer correct me for the uptenth time, because I FEEL I did it wrong, but I can’t control it! It’s really frustrating, but I hope this will pass with some concentration on the technique.

And I still remind myself of the glorious moment and the feeling of everything clicking into place – this is my drive.

I’m also trying to work on my clinch a little bit, trying out some tricks I’ve picked up in training, but didn’t LEARN it yet. This is the moment when I feel so grateful to my training parters who deal with my curiousity and trying out new techinques, maybe hurting them a bit in the process, because I’m still far from being ‘fluent’ in the clinch. But I started to enjoy it a lot and I hope I can work more on it.


I’m buying tickets for my flight to Thailand, hopefully this week!!!!!! ^_^ OMGOMGOMG It’s really happening! 😀 😀

On my way to one of my gyms ;) You can't see the road on this picture, but it's actually made of old concrete blocks, which is a pain to ride on,  you need to go really slow, and it's in the middle of a wood with no light ;) You might meet some foxes or wildpigs there. too ;) The lengths I go for my training ;)
On my way to one of my gyms 😉 You can’t see the road on this picture, but it’s actually made of old concrete blocks, which is a pain to ride on, you need to go really slow, and it’s in the middle of a wood with no light 😉 You might meet some foxes or wildpigs there. too 😉 The lengths I go for my training 😉

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